Of Mice And Men

With Sky News and CNN focussing on the siege of Mosul, increasing sectarian violence in the Middle East and the security services monitoring facebook, it’s the BBC that had the Big Story with The Return of Dangermouse.

The intellerati in the comments section rightly focussed on the issues that matter i.e. that you can’t bring back Dangermouse because the country’s gone too PC. As belicajur puts it:

36.

belicajur

3 Hours ago

This will never happen today as Danger Mouse is too white and Penfold isn't black enough. He'll have to change his name to Danga mouse too...

Stonewall will want them to get married in a church, which will make front page news on The Guardian and headlines on the BBC, after first getting kicked out of a B&B for sharing a bed.

Conversely, Piroflip doesn’t think it’ll be Christianity that will make an appearance.

-11

Comment number 139.

piroflip

1 Hour ago

But in keeping with Dr Who style Political Correctness Penfold will now be female and Dangemouse will have converted to islam.

All this time, Karam is secreting something:

-22

Comment number 42.

karam

3 Hours ago

we can find space to discuss DM but not secrete terror courts where the accused will not be able to hear the evidence put against them.

anyway if its not david jason then its not dm

Relevant comment, Karam. How will we ever know if you’re in favour of secret horror courts if you cannot comment?

Meanwhile, Adrian M Lee has a throwdown for anyone who seeks to censor, suppress or repress his comments about Dangermouse.

-12

Comment number 110.

Adrian M Lee

2 Hours ago

OK, what do I think of Danger Mouse returning? Pants.

Now that I have addressed the subject matter, hopefully my posting won't get censored out (sorry, moderated for being off-topic!)

GIVE US PROPER HYS TOPICS!

Proper topics? I’ll tell you this much: if we tolerate the PCing of Dangermouse, then what will be next?

Write to the BBC TODAY, brothers and sisters, before Button Moon and Fraggle Rock are lost to us forever!

Mad Cow Denise

I’m no great fan of The Economist. In addition to their over-detailed articles and sesquipedalian sentences, the comments section always seems light on Common Sense. That is until now.

Cruising the comments on a number of articles, I found myself increasingly in accord with the charming teachings of DeniseIam. Holding forth on a variety of topics, Denise employs subjetificated historianism and interpretive semantics to make her points, whilst never forgetting her core philosophy, to wit:

"Racism" is self-preservation - and it's normal, and healthy.”

Ah, but of course! What could be more healthy and illuminating that judging a person primarily on the race you perceive them to be? But the lesson doesn’t end there, and here for your delectation are a selection of her other TRUTHS.

Truth fact: Banking

“Adolf tried to warn every-one....”

Ok. But to be fair she’s just warming up. Give her a minute.

Truth fact: US troops abroad

“Blah blah blah. Stop blaming Anglos. You Me stiz os have caused plenty of problems for yourself, long before the White Bearded Gods landed in your neck of the jungle. Tsk tsk tsk...you really ought not complain about others, when your main cultural contribution to world civilization is the glorification of cannibalism.”

That’s more like it! Responding to one Ricky Munoz with the Aristotelian blah, blah, you're a stinky face reposte, she rightly surmises that he is from a jungle region, which endorses cannibalism. This must be because:

“RACE is in the DNA.”

And so is culture, and we rightly hate the culture of DNA other than our own, and the DNA line is racially pure, otherwise her argument would be, well, just stupid!  Let’s try another:

Truth fact: Mexicans

“You;ve just revealed the TRUTH of this - the TRUTH - the Mexicans want ot go HOME.

mexico is their HOME.

Not Gringo Land.

Mexico

That's WHY Americans RIGHTFULLY HATE THEM.”

I always wondered. But I also wonder, can Denise help sort out the tricky dichotomy between people making an area of land their place of residence within the past few hundred years and people from outside that country wishing to make it their place of residence today? She can? Great!

Truth fact: Places of residence

“America was CREATED by SETTLERS. Not "immigrants". Who here knows the difference?”

There you go! it’s not like there was an indigenous population of any kind already there when the first SETTLERS arrived at Plymouth Rock.

I would so like to meet Denise, and she suggests we do. In fact she suggests we party together!

Truth fact: Par-tays

“I invite you Academic Ivory Tower types to contact me. We will party, err....par-tay...next weekend,..”

However

“You may want to come armed. I will be armed. I will be able to handle myself - but I can't account for you.”

Ah, but Denise - you had me at “racism is healthy”.