Blue Mercedes

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 59 years on this planet, it’s that there’s a simple answer to everything. No issue, no matter how complicated, takes more than 20 minutes for a man with Common Sense to sort out.

One such man is Balloon Rake, who stalks the BBC Have Your Say forum like a vengeful wraith, righting wrongs, solving problems and tutting at scientists. Here’s his take on Korea:

 

As I have said before, the perfect solution all of Korea is that if North Korea and South Korea were to be united as the one country, This would bring peace and harmony and North Koreans would have the same freedom as South Koreans. The sooner this happens the better, nuclear weapons are just a sideshow

 

See? Why didn’t anyone think of that before? Next, the James Webb telescope’s infra-red strap-on:

 

More money wasted by sci-fi nut jobs, this money could be put to much better use. When you have seen one star then you have seen them all. James Webb has far too much time on his hands, at the end of a day a telescope is a telescope.

 

Finally, exiting Europe via our Eurovision entry:

Engelbert Humperdinck must be desperate for cash if he is entering the Eurovison Song Contest, Britains entries over recent years have been drivel leaning towards the manufactured X-Factor rubbish type songs. If Britain wants to win Eurovision then they should a song called "It's Better To Stand Alone (Than Be In The Eurozone)".

And it could be sung by Blue Mercedes

 

Boom! Whilst simultaneously bringing back a much-loved 80’s footnote no less! Jarvis – you may set the dining table in the Long Room for two!