The greatest show on Earth

And so it is that our ONCE GREAT LAND has the shame of hosting the Olympic Games. And yet it seems that when we ran a lottery for the tickets NOT EVERYBODY WON! This includes Boris Johnson, who was the subject of a story in that bastion of truth, regarding English Common Sense, The Daily Mail.

Such a lot of people had such a lot to say about the Mayor not getting a ticket it might be better to enter into the Spirit of the Games and look at the frontrunners in each category, as selected by my able Assistants:

Nostalgia (Silver)
What IS the matter with this country? We USED to run an Empire!
Old man with a stick, Rural England,

Nostalgia (Gold)
THE LAST PROPER OLYMPICS WAS 1948 ATHLETES THEN WERE REAL AMATEURS
george, denham uxbridge, 1/6/2011 20:41

Swings and Roundabouts
I am a widowed mum and taking my son to the 100m for a cheap ticket. so some of us have been lucky
KT, Wiltshire, 2/6/2011 9:13

Hop, Skip and Leap of Logic
Will somebody PLEASE get Eliza Doolittle some trousers!
jo, horsham, 1/6/2011 21:27

Suspense
I read the rules wrong and paid via credit card, so I won't even know if I got any tickets for another few weeks!
Sam, Somerset, 1/6/2011 18:21

100m Grasp of How The Billing System Works
I applied for loads of events at a cost of thousands and got nothing.
Brit Abroad, France, 02/6/2011 09:01

Prognostication of Doom (Silver)
THis event will seal this country's demise , mark my words.
Mark, London UK, 1/6/2011 20:43

Prognostication of Doom (Gold)
None of my family will be attending. We are too worried about a Terrorist attack.
granny nan, uk, 1/6/2011 16:41

Parallel Universe Theory
Happily I am not the slightest bit interested, so anyone is welcome to any ticket that I might have bought.
Bwj, Uk, 1/6/2011 18:53

Political Theory
Sounds like AV in action, eh Cleggy?
Kevin, Wigan, 1/6/2011 21:14

100m Psychic Hurdles
The only way to get a ticket was to visualize it; see it in your hand, and to think positive. If you didn't do that then it's your own fault. Same goes for the athlete's. They must visualize the gold medal, remember what they have been told about how 'you' can do anything you want, and think positive. Don't think about how there's only one gold medal for each event! Then when you win say it's because we can all do anything we want, and hold yourself up as an example of the power of positive thinking.
Walter, Phoenix, Oregon, 1/6/2011 21:42

Equality
I think it is disgusting that the disabled athletes have separate events.
LesJo, London, 1/6/2011 17:19

The world would be a finer place if these people got their way. 

Perhaps by the time the next round of tickets goes on sale we’ll have figured out the billing system, amateurised our athletics team and luckily be impoverished and widowed. Meanwhile, the Powers That Be can work on visualising the restoration of the Empire, buying Eliza some trousers and FINALLY allowing wheelchair users to compete in the Free Diving event!