You may now bum the bride

Disgraceful: The Bible says Adam and EVE, not DAVID and JIM from GUILDFORD!

There are some things in life which are not for debate, and one of them is the definition of marriage. However, when some leading Catholics call for it’s protection, the Liberal Media gets on its high-horse about so-called “equality”!

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: "Men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided." And the best way to avoid unjust discrimination is to deny them equal rights. END OF.

20.  GhostOfEnoch Guess what, gays can do what they want to each other, but behind closed doors, civil partnerships may be ok, but marriage is between a MAN and a WOMAN. END OF.

I’m guessing too, GhostOfEnoch, and I am absolutely disgusted at what I imagine they get up to! However, I will defend to the death their right to do it, and insert what they will, where they want, even if it’s still alive as long as they put down plastic sheeting to protect the carpet from all the honey, and baby oil and warm, runny chocolate. This conversation is over.

221. Schism The Church recognizes homosexuality as disordered, this does not mean that the Church is uncompassionate to those who suffer from the disorder.

We must pity those who are disordered, of course, as it’s a disease. Maybe one day they’ll be orderly enough to believe the world was made by an invisible wizard who won’t let me into an everlasting afterlife if I’ve been eating bacon.

253. Hugh Oxford If this proposal goes ahead, the word "marriage" will have two different and conflicting meanings.
It will mean both the necessary procreative union of a man and a woman AND it's complete opposite, the union of two people of the same sex.

Well, quite. Why would people have sex if not to produce children? There’s simply no incentive, ergo gay marriages can’t exist and marriages that don’t produce children must be dissolved. cynic believes much the same:

366. cynic It requires a mother and a father to produce a child and to be role models for him/her. Any thing else is less than ideal and is likely to lead, ultimately, to the downfall of civilisation. Look at history.

Well, I’ve got to say cynic, I looked at history and you were right - every fallen empire ever recorded had homosexual citizens in it! It’s WEIRD. SPEAKOUT has also been doing their history:

83. SPEAKOUT Marriage has always been between a Man and a Woman since Adam and Eve. That simple.

You can’t argue with that - it says it right there in the Bible! What it didn’t mention was Adam got nervous and fluffed his lines at the alter, which made everybody chuckle, and that the congregation was mainly made up of talking animals without opposable thumbs, so Adam had to tie his own empty baked bean tins to the back of his donkey. Anyway, where was I?

15. Peter Win Fascinating how the world cringes and falls over itself apologising when a few GI's burn a copy of the Koran accidentally - but when one of the sacred rituals of Christendom - marriage - is involved, people feel totally free to castigate the church and rework the meaning of the word marriage as they see fit...

That is fascinating. Those Muslims are always over-reacting, and what sort of monsters come along and hijack existing words, tradition, even festivals and redefine their meaning to suit their agenda? Thank God for Christians is what I say. Anyway, this debate has gone on too long, and Maggie and Norman begat the man to settle the matter:

215. Son of Maggie and Norman Gay marriage is wrong - no debate - it is wrong.

Well I’m glad we got that sorted out. So you want to debate about your lack of equal rights do you Mr Gay Man? Well you can’t! because you’re just wrong. No debate. Shut up. SHUT! UP! YOU MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE. I DON’T LIKE THINKING ABOUT IT. SO SHUT UP.

42. blefuscu Marriage is a judeo-christian institution. It derives from natural law. It is the essence of complementarity. The state does not own 'marriage', judeo-christianity does. The state owns 'civil partnerships'. The state has no right to define marriage...only to usurp it to the greater detriment of the community...

Exactly. Marriage is Judeo-Christian. If it wasn’t why does it always happen in a church? .

The Knowledge

The black cab drivers of London are an intelligent bunch. Each and every one of them needs to learn “The Knowledge”- every street name within a six-mile radius of Charing Cross meaning that, if you asked them, they’d be able to tell you the succession of roads you’d need to drive down to get where you’re going.

They are not the only ones with this skill.

DavidAustralia was found here, commenting upon a European Directive, and my hat is well and truly off to him. From the topic of “RSPCA” through  to “capitulation to Rome” via "WWII”, "Paddy Ashdown", “Ted Heath”, "Henry VIII", "cappuccino", "Guy Fawkes", "David Cameron" and "Jesus Christ", is no mean feat, but DavidAustralia manages it with a tour de force that would make Caesar blush!

Read this, good people, and understand more of your world.

ANIMAL TESTING CONTROLS IN UK TO BE REDUCED, SAYS EU22.06.11, 6:21pm In addition I wanted to say that this great nation, had founded the RSPCA in a London coffee shop in 1824...yes, we had coffee before Mussolini’s mob, having failed to get their empire back with Hitler’s help during WW2, started a huge ongoing publicity campaign to push Espresso coffee as part of an image Italy wanted to have virtually revered – with some success, amongst other national groups who felt inadequate in themselves. Not too long before this the Italians in particular were leading campaigns to burn anyone at the stake, who refused to join them. Especially those who dared to print bibles in English, the consequence of which was the British seeing right through the lust for power which encompassed Roman thinking and strategies, as the bible gives direction for individual acceptance or rejection of J C as personal saviour. Henry VIII led the way by no longer wanting to pay the Italians for the privilege of wanting to sneeze (virtually), and until the British were conned into EEC membership by the treacherous Edward Heath, had been world leaders in so many things, including the ‘born again’ Christian Wilberforce stopping the slave trade. So now Britain is back in the not so holy Roman Empire, let’s get back to good old cruelty to dogs and other animals!

What else has to happen before someone can replace Paddy Ashdown’s mate (one of Paddy's parents was a Guy Fawkes follower), Ed Llewellyn, from making sure David Cameron does not leave the EEC – however much it costs us – but especially if it costs us (as it will), total sovereignty. Britain is about to be divided up between the Moslems and the French, who are being rewarded by their spiritual leader in Rome, for their faithfulness and obedience to their Italian masters. And that was precisely how they lost their Royal Family – the Pope would not allow their Monarchy to democratise, as England had, hundreds of years ago, at Runneymede.

This was because he feared his absolute dictatorship would be put at risk, so the then Pope did all he could to suppress the real aims and objectives of born again Christians on the Continent – after all any so called church that could find justification for burning those refusing to join them (definitely not following JC’s bible message)! would also get a sense of satisfaction out of torturing both dumb and speaking ‘animals!’ Probably why the RSPCA could never have started in a country whose thought processes were being controlled by arrogant Rome. I have to emphasise this because unless the public are aware to what extent the mere five million Romans of Britain’s sixty million population now have helped each other to top positions in government and quasi government positions to block any escape from the total destruction of UK., they cannot ask the appropriate questions or insist on having MP’s whose fundamental loyalty is to UK and not some contrived figure in another country. Everyone is being stealthily edged towards losing national identity to a Rome dominated EEC parliament. If it was honourable, why does it now have to be stealthily: always a sure sign that all is not as it should be. How can your Parliamentarians stand there and take lying down the surrender of just one distinguishing British feature after another?

Ridding London of vermin

Flicking through this evening’s standard Evening Standard I was delighted to note that Simon Jenkins had penned another of his charming missives, this time on the scourge of the urban fox.

Malicious: A fox hellbent on destroying clematis

As he recounts, this animal, with scant respect for his legal rights as a homeowner, had trespassed upon HIS property, dug under the shed and “buried the adjacent flower bed in soil and leaves”. The bloody cheek of it! A flower bed is clearly no place for soil and he is right to call for this animal's immediate destruction.

But oh no- the council had different ideas. They advised him to urinate in his garden to deter foxes, as if someone like Simon Jenkins would ever be responsible for nasty and repugnant emanations in public!

It puts him in mind of a friend who, when confronted with an injured fox on her front lawn, called the council to remove it but, far from hitting over the head with a shovel and tossing its corpse into the nearest landfill, it was “taken on a stretcher to a clinic in Borehamwood”! What is wrong with these people?! Have they no COMPASSION for ratepayers?!

The problems with London gardens don’t stop there - the truth is that pigeons - overweight pigeons at that, squirrels and mice also deign to trespass upon what is Simon’s PRIVATE property, pooping where they please and ruining the strip clematis:

The truth is that London's small gardens are infested. In mine, pigeons so fat their legs can hardly support them roll about on the steps. Parakeets squawk in the trees. Grey squirrels munch their way through rose buds and strip clematis. Mice trot this way and that, leaving little trails of droppings. Foxes treat garden sheds as free bed and breakfast. The place is like Jurassic Park.

It’s unbelievable. It’s as if these “animals” seem to think they they can roam freely upon the earth with scant regard for the finer points of conveyancing law.

It’s not just in the cities either - these newcomers to our landmass seem to think they can cock a snook to those attempting to run heavily indebted country estates. I myself was recently forced to issue a badger, that my groundskeeper Jose found trespassing in the lower field, with a cease and desist order from the local magistrate. Not only did the badger pretend not to understand the Queen’s English, it proved most unreceptive to dialogue before successfully biting my face!

Not until the birds cease to sing in the trees and mice are driven from our ONCE GREAT LAND will we be able to sleep soundly in our beds. These people who bleat on about Britain’s freedoms and extremely high quality of life ought to walk a mile in our shoes and realise that, actually, it is HELL ON EARTH because of all the squirrels in our gardens.

The antisocial network

Laid up as I have been with a broken ankle, my Assistants have “logged me on” to the Face Book. On the Face Book I can catch up on all the news about what people had for dinner, see pictures of their pets, and learn what they think of bone idle radical Muslims.

Cue the political analysis of Emmanuel Etchells-Ayre, holder of a 3rd class degree from the University of Hard Knocks (with a scholarship from the School of Hard Knocks), the man whose endeavours built the hole country and an Englishman who swears to uphold the constitution of the United States of America.

Emmanuel Etchells-Ayre Time politicians stopped walking around with their heads up their backsides, soending British Taxpayers Money on Foreign Aid ... WE didn't build this country up to what it is so we can give money to countries who want to destroy us, nor didwe pay our taxes to have them given to illegal immigrants and bone idle parasitic Radical Muslims ... call me racist if you wish, the man who can't even get a constituents name right can't be of much use to society as a hole !

Here, here! What are we doing giving money to the countries who want to destroy us?! Are we mad!!! I simply cannot believe that the situation is any more complicated than it appears to me to be, given my current understanding of it. What I am sure of is that national governments accurately reflect the will of their population EXCEPT in BRITAIN where the politicians all walk around with their heads up their back sides.

Call him racist if you wish. Point right at him and say “You’re an enormous racist who doesn’t understand what’s going on” if it makes you feel better! He’s not going to care. He’s just going to keep building up Britain - paying his millions in taxes to pay for essential infrastructure, striking foreign trade deals with favourable terms for the UK, teaching children to read and spell and preventing bone idle radicals from alternately bombing and sleeping, because that’s probably what they do.

TRUE HERO of Britain, I salute you!

Past their sell-by date

I was delighted to note that the recent change of advice from Sainsbury’s regarding the removing their “freeze on the day of purchase” advice threw up a good deal of Common Sense all over the internet. Basically they’re now saying you can freeze food on any day up to the best before date.

gohunter has something to say about this! And his ex wife.

gohunter My ex-wife used to throw things out regardlessly as soon as they reached their use by date. She'd never think to open them and smell, or use common sense. Absolute lunacy and one reason why she is my EX-wife ;-)

Lunacy indeed! And it’s a good thing you managed to get rid of her before she emptied the damn thing of chicken that was barely even turning green. Wasting food indeed - Next Wife please! One with the common sense to sniff food she finds in the fridge. Jeff Martin, meanwhile, has no such problems:

Jeff Martin I live on my own, so everything I buy is split into portions and frozen in those plastic tubs you get from takeaway shops or the bags that are freely available in the fruit section. A little bit of forward planning, and the food I need for the day is brought out of the freezer in the morning. It's hardly rocket science.

Thanks for that Jeff. Food for thought with the tub idea (not least the free bag tip!) and a fascinating insight into your daily life as an amuse-bouche. Meanwhile, thinker1214 is on the cutting edge of experimental eating-of-things-that-might-be-off.

thinker1214 I always use four methods nose, tongue, stomach and bum if any of them get upset (and i survive) i know better for next time. worked for me so far the date system generated extra purchases for shops and meant little to the consumers experience of the food. As the date system has been around for years wouldnt the older generation have started this throw away culture?

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, eh thinker? What more foolproof method could there be of finding out whether food is safe to eat than eating it? As my Grandmama used to say, "It's worth sacrificing your gastric health to avoid having to buy fresh vegetables." Interesting point about throwaway culture being the fault of baby boomers too - here’s a counterpoint from Rodney:

Rodney Evan Jones The statistic that the average family wastes about £50 worth of food each month is amazing. Anyone over 65 years of age will not be included in that figure as we grew up in times of austerity after WW2. My Dad taught us that wasting food was a sin and that has stuck with me my whole life. It is good to knock up a meal using leftovers in the fridge from time to time and I would commend this.

Bloody well right we’re not to blame. For anything. We didn’t have bananas, you see. Couldn’t get em. So we don’t waste food. And you clear your plate or it’s a sin, and I believe that to this day. The story is about when to freeze food before it goes off. But I’m talking about. I’m talking about finishing. Your food.

Particularly. PARTICULARLY if it’s off. Because of the bananas, you see? Scarcity.

Anyway, Schoolies has another take on the news:

schoolies As a confirmed bachelor I need no interference from the Nanny state that is Sainsburys. I am quite an expert already on the four major food groups;Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate

Ha! You old tease. Good to see you out there, sticking it to the man. They say “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Schoolies is living that dream, skidding in sideways, reduced-to-clear prawn cocktail in one hand - travel mug of instant chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "I'll brook no interference from Sainsburys!"

A role model for us all!

Rather sheep like

Regular readers of this Web Log will know that I am know fan of academia - Liberals wafting around in their ivory Mickey Mouse towers thinking of new ways to destroy this Once Great Nation, and FINALLY I have proof.

It comes in the form of a Daily Mail article that claims that people of lower intelligence are more likely to be racists and Conservatives because they fear what they don’t understand, and they understand less than most, although not all Conserrvatives are stupid.

Poppycock I say! I know lots of my fellow intellerati are in fact highly intelligent and yet they are right wing and, like a coiled Cobra, sprang into action to defend right-wing views and Common Sense from this highly transparent slur! Such as hillside from sydney:

“I have an IQ over 200, have six degrees/diplomas and am "right wing" as are others I know at this higher level of intelligence.” - hillside, sydney, 3/2/2012 6:01

200! The smartest man who ever lived and his friends who exist in a state of heightened intelligence with multiple degrees/diplomas (same thing) are all VERY right-wing. Some still are both Conservative and prejudiced against people on the basis of their culture (not race!), or ethnic identity (not race!) or the fact they're minorities whilst still packing in the grey matter. As Paul puts it:

"it's a brave man these days to point out any ills in particular cultures or ethnic and minority groups." - paul, ukip next govt., 3/2/2012 2:12

Luckily we have just such a hero in Lord Haw Haw:

“I have been described, inter alia, as " a notorious anti-semite" and as "racist" (despite the fact that I am biased in favour of CULTURE not race as such, but race in our age is the main foundation for culture in large populations), yet my IQ was once tested by an official body at 155, i.e. in the top half of one percent of the UK population”- Lord Haw Haw, UK, 3/2/2012 14:38

Ok maybe race, but no - the whole thing smacks of a liberal conspiracy, in which the BBC no doubt had a hand:

“Sounds like a BBC study, type of thing they would waste the Licence fee on, load of Cods wallop.” - Terry, Leicester, 2/2/2012

They sit. THEY SIT! In their IVORY TOWERS spending MY LICENCE FEE MONEY! ON THIS! CANADIAN METASTUDY! It's enough to make the blood boil! And why are the Lefties doing this? Simple:

“I've always found left wing Liberals to be rather sheep like, the type that crave Communism so they don't have to think for themselves.” - Adam, Essex, 3/2/2012 6:3

Liberal bloody Communists again. Fascist Communists too, I’ll warrant, who want other people to think for them. And Academics are the worst of the lot. Take Ted’s testimony:

“I seem to remember "academics" once upon a time stating that the world was flat and the Sun orbitted the Earth.....Funny how some groups of people can be wrong all the time.” - Ted, Teddington, 2/2/2012 21:22

I think I remember that too. Was it not Brian Cox claiming only last year that they Earth was as flat as a pancake before having to revise his theories following a trip to the Maldives? More chilling is this brilliant deconstruction of 20th century politics:

“@Jan, Wokingham, to give them their full title, they were the "National Socialist German Workers Party. They were utterly left wing. The only reason they werent communists is because they wanted power for themselves.” - wheres maggie, New Milton, 3/2/2012 11:03

NAZI Fascist Communists Lefties! A political movement that wanted to gain power over society. That's what was wrong with them. I agree with Rob, who suggests that we:

“File this report in the same place as the conclusive evidence of manmade climate change.” - Rob, Lincs, 3/2/2012 10:33

Bloody well right, and don’t come back until you’re over 90% certain. Also, we need to stop the NaziFascistCommunistLeftieAcademics using words to determine intelligence. How can an intelligent person answer questions if they don’t know what the words in the questions mean?!

“the "intelligence tests" used by this study were based on verbal tests that require knowledge of the words used and also basic short term memory tests, and even a test for drawing skills. Not exactly a sound scientific study of intelligence.” - Barry, UK, 4/2/2012 20:28

Precisely. Using verbal reasoning and memory tests is certainly no way to measure intelligence. In either case we need to get a grip and remember that, because we are reasoning, whatever that reason tells us is correct:

“I am a highly reasoning right wing person and that reasoning tells me I am correct in my beliefs and do not have to accept the incorrect reasoning of others, particularly psychologists.” Mick, Maidstone, 2/2/2012 20:57

Add to that our rich seam of Common Sense, which tells us that schools and universities brainwash our children in order to prop up the elites:

“This study is a ridiculous attempt by obviously left wing researchers to imply low intelligence to those who oppose their views and to undermine the democratic will of the population by justifying rule by the elites. Schools and institutions of higher education have been brainwashing (by presenting facts and arguments that only support left wing ideology) our more intelligent students for years. We are now at the point where our elites are hopelessly out of touch with and dismiss the views of the rest of us. There is more understanding and common sense in the man on the street than what you will meet in any of the bastions of academia, judiciary, public service or big business.”- hillside, sydney, 3/2/2012 6:01

And I’m sure he’s got evidence. I, like Josephine Capenerhurst, shall be ignoring this article until it goes away, but not before mocking it:

“Thank goodness the majority of DM readers are intelligent enough to mock and ignore such a ridiculous article.!!!” - Josephine Capenerhurst, Isle of Wight, England, 3/2/2012 10:00

Sez has the last word, showing that even if we do turn out to be a semiconductor short of a transistor, there’s nothing so durable a defence as Common Sense:

“Ha! Well this would prove my theory that people with high intelligence have no common sense!!!!!” - Sez, London, 2/2/2012 23:19

Exactly! Case closed. Academics - take your books and your "studies" and ask yourselves this: If we're so stupid, why do you think we think we're right?! Game set and match.

Note: Many thanks to picturesdepot.com for the picture of the baby sheep. As they say :

Want High Quality Baby Sheep pictures or photos to use on facebook, myspace or your blog, if so, we have all the Baby Sheep you will want. We have a massive database of Baby Sheep that is conintously updated by our users and staff. So, Feel free to search for more Baby Sheep pictures, photos and images here at PicturesDepot.com. We are the leader in Baby Sheep or backgrounds.

Good to know.

Mistrial and retribution

It’s fair to say that the trial of Anders Breivik raises a lot of questions. Can a psychopath ever fulfil their responsibilities within a social or civil contract? When is a man too mad to stand trial? How could a man so right about the worldwide Jewish/Communist conspiracy do something so wrong?

Luckily, the intellerati of the Sky News comments board are all over it. Following the news that Breivik is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and belongs in a secure psychiatric unit rather than being placed in the general prison population, several commentators have seen through his ruse and have sketched out a roadmap to justice.

“He seems perfectly sane to me...... : /
Execute this poor excuse for a human being.”
Posted by: Smurfeee on November 29, 2011 12:55 PM

Well, you’re the expert, Smurfeee.  Sanity it is.  However what if every terrorist is insane and therefore should not stand trial unless they have the mental capacity to aim a gun in which case they should?

“ALL TERRORISTS ARE INSANE- IF THEY HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO PICK UP AIM A GUN I'M SURE THEY HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS!”
Posted by: alistar on November 29, 2011 4:25 PM

Precisely. Breivik is properly mad BUT should be tried as a sane man if he’s capable of aiming a gun as the ability to pick up objects is proof of mental competence, and especially lest he queer the pitch for other properly mad people who aren’t mad although they’ve been forced to be mad because the hospital is mad and met their girlfriend on a bus:

“He is not Sane. He should be locked up for the rest of his life and they all say they are innocent when they end up in court. It is people like him who are eventually released from a psychiatric hospital that makes it difficult for the mentally ill like me who were forced to have a mental illness and lied about by the N.H.S hospital and are not dangerous that I have no criminal record now for the course i am studying at the moment. My family and the N.H.S Hospital are mentally ill not me. I even have a girl friend who as a similar illness where we met on the bus. I was on a day out and my friend was going to a party on the Saturday we met.”
Posted by: DisccussionFan01 on November 29, 2011 12:22 PM

Legals aside, we turn to the tricky question of sentencing.

“Personally, I would like to see him put on trial and hung.”
Posted by: ADW on November 29, 2011 3:00 PM

Like it. Like it a lot - trial > guilty verdict > hanging. Bish bash bosh, justice served. We should make sure it’s a nice long trial too, to ensure the guilty verdict is more just.

alex mf also has an idea. An idea that just keeps growing and growing…

“Take him for a swim in the Atlantic ocean, make sure it is shark infested, and leave him there. Obviously in January, in the middle of the night.”
Posted by: alex m.f. on November 29, 2011 12:04 PM

That’s more like it.  Put staples under his fingernails too.  And vinegar on the staples. And piss in the vinegar.  And eat some asparagus so your piss smells all funny.

We’re going to need a Plan B though, just in case the quacks get their way and he’s carted off to Bedlam rather than pokey:

“I know it is alot more far reaching, but that said, if he can't be held accountable for the actions, may i ask who can be“
Posted by: Gj73 from Italy on November 29, 2011 11:39 AM

Perfect. No Breivik doesn’t have to mean no hanging – we just need to find someone else to blame.  And hang. With a rough rope.  That’s on fire.  And there are crocodiles under the gallows trap door, swimming in (hot) acid. Crossed with sharks to make Sharkodiles. Only then can we rest, knowing that justice has been done!